Birds of a Feather Flock Together

IMG_6060Do you ever feel like you give and give and people take and take and you wonder what is going on here?  This is the same old cycle year after year yet you have spun your wheels trying to fix it but somehow it seems that you are entangled in their web. I would say this is a red flag to know that something needs to change.  I was listening to an encouraging sermon the other day and it got me thinking about people in my life.  Do they help me grow?  Do they encourage me?  Do they inspire me to do better?  Or are they in constant need? Are they negative, do they bring me down?  Do they want to see me do well in life? Can you take a moment and reflect for a minute about the people who you hold close in your life–what is the friendship/relationship based on there? Is it because you’ve known them forever and this is what it has to be.
See I realize that friends need to be willing to support your growth. They need to help you and inspire you for more in this life.  If they aren’t willing to be happy for you and supportive, are they truly friends?  It’s not always about how many friends that you have but rather it’s about the quality in the friendship that really matters. You’ve all heard the saying, “birds of a feather flock together” and isn’t it true? We tend to dress the same, talk the same, have the same quirks even. Ever wonder why that is?  Not only do those qualities rub off on us but the negative ones do too.  If you have a friend that is angry all the time, cusses, stressed out, gossiping, always the glass half empty kind-of-person–you will eventually adopt those same traits as well.  There are many psychologists who say that folks gravitate to people who they feel they are most like.  But are you gravitating to the qualities in you that bring you down or are  you simply selling yourself short?  Shouldn’t you be looking for people that will boost your spirits, inspire you for greatness, cheer you on to the next goal! People are in your life for seasons and I really believe that’s ok.  I know I’m constantly changing so my needs are different as I get older.  A true friend will understand that because they should be changing too. Don’t get me wrong!  I’m not saying that you can’t be the uplifter or the encourager but relationships are a two-way street. Don’t forget that one.
So as you flock to a new group whether at work, school, church or even the gym– I encourage you to soar with birds that outstretch their wings, fly high and reach for more in each day.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. DF
    Mar 18, 2015 @ 08:03:31

    What timely word! So true…

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  2. C.Burke
    Mar 17, 2015 @ 18:22:40

    hahaha “c.burke”. I just live my life and whoever I find along the way I build friendships with however, if those friendships prove to be negative for my well being I am not afraid to end them. I really like this post and it’s something I think many people can relate to. Thanks sfeliciano74!

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  3. C.Burke
    Mar 17, 2015 @ 08:31:23

    I think this is a good topic. There are so many like minded people that flock together, whether it is positive or negative; they are friends because they can relate. Sometimes people need to talk and get support from those half glass empty people. Many people don’t seem to understand that friendships change or that people’s lives and needs change as they grow. As I have gotten older and finished school, I have less and less friends. I don’t seem to have the time or patience for shallow friendships. I don’t have time to make a friend feel better because I don’t want to go to the bar, drink, and hit on men when I am not single and neither are they. I find it very difficult to stay friends with someone once I find they have a stance or belief that I cannot agree with. Ex. if a friend is cheating on a spouse, if a friend starts saying things that are racially inappropriate or if a friend lets me in on the secret that they are scamming people. It could be as simple as I’m always the one calling or messaging to meet up or that I am always the one who has to go to the friend, the friend never comes to me. These things have actually happened and I can’t bring myself to associate with people who do these things or don’t reciprocate in the same way. It’s tiring and I don’t make time for it in my life. I’m happier this way. Hence, the lack of friends. Friends are few and far between and anyone who is my friend will get my full support and I expect the same from them. I have expectations for friends and I don’t think it’s wrong to expect the same from them.

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    • sfeliciano74
      Mar 17, 2015 @ 14:48:16

      Thank you for your comment, C. Burke. I encourage you not to shut off people but find folks that you can relate well with. Our circumstances change often and so does our needs. It’s not about quantity but the quality in your friendship/relationship.

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