And She’s Off…

Today is finally here! We have been prepping Aliyah for school for weeks. Her bag is packed, her forms are filled out, her physical is done and her first day of school outfit has been waiting for her.  

But wait–I forgot one thing–Me                 

I forgot to prepare ME!!!

You would think after going through this two times before I would be ready. Aliyah being third in line I didn’t think I would feel so sad to watch her set off for school. After all, with my oldest I couldn’t wait to see her at school yet I cried that first day as I sat in my office (lets not even mention the school was literally across the street from my job) and with my second I encouraged her as well to venture out and was so proud when she gave me a side glance and said, “see ya, mommy!”

But this one is different. I want to hug her just a little longer, hold her just one more second. 

Could this be because she will forever in my eyes be the baby

I know she already does not like that status as she has placed herself right up there with her sissies but I can’t help my heart feeling a tug today and all the what ifs flooding in–

  • What if she misses us so much and cries all day long?
  • What if her teachers ignore it?
  • What if she doesn’t fall asleep on her cot? (she’s not used to a cot)
  • What if the other kids are mean to her?
  • What if she’s mean to the other kids? (Heaven forbid)
  • What if she doesn’t eat? 
  • What if she gets injured?
  • What if she has an accident? 

What if, what if, what if?!?
This mommy thing never gets any easier and the worse of it all is having to let them go and with each kid it just seems as though they are ready even faster than the one before! 

Aliyah will be great and well this mommy will do what every other mommy has to do–put on the brave face, give a quick hug and kiss, turn and walk away praying that all will be well with her baby girl and fingers crossed no crying allowed until maybe after getting in the car! 


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